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| Thank you for the short ride, Papa. |
I know you all are probably tired of the "sick" posts, but my life pretty much revolves around whatever is wrong with me now. It is starting to swallow me whole, and I am trying to not let it take me under. But it is very very hard. What makes it harder is that there is still no answer to what exactly is wrong with me.
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| You must always torture the clinic cat. |
So far, I have tested positive for Lyme disease and Parvo (not the same as dog parvo), we are still waiting to see about Sjogren's disease, and in the mean time I will be seeing an eye specialist, as sometimes they can help diagnose weird autoimmune diseases or cancers. The husband has started talking about me going on disability, which is scary and sad. I am exhausted when I get home from work. I am exhausted the whole time I am there. I can't hold onto big dogs or feisty critters, nor can I open things or move heavy bags.
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| The appropriately named "Harry". |
Clients come in and if they don't know I am sick, they quickly ask if I am. Clients that do know come in to see how I am doing. If I can, I do surgeries so I can sit down most of the time, because my legs will get extremely stiff from standing and the arthritis takes over. I don't really want to eat, but sometimes I get hungry enough to eat a full meal. I just don't know what to do.
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| Penny, one of my favorite patients. |
Hubs won't let me compete Novice next year if I don't get better. He won't even let me jump. But the fact that I can only ride for about 5 minutes when I am up to it is holding me back anyways. I am still holding onto my dream though, because that is about all I have anymore. I haven't given up yet and I don't plan on it.
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| Papa is one cool horse. I trust him to take good care of me too. |
But some people lose the fight.
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| Exhausted and dizzy, but he waits patiently. |
Sending lots of good thoughts and hoping you can figure out a solution.
ReplyDelete:( *big hugs*
ReplyDeleteHang in there. I know it sucks, but you'll find a way. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd papa is up for rides anytime you need to go for a spin.
I'm so sorry for all of this :( Sending big hugs. I wasn't nearly as sick as you are when I was going through a lot of health issues that no one could diagnose, but it's scary and so frustrating to go through something and no one is able to tell you what's wrong. I completely understand the whole "not knowing" thing and how much it sucks.
ReplyDeleteI would look into seeing if you can get approved through your insurance to go to the Mayo Clinic. My mom had symptoms that they could not figure out what was going on and after a three day visit to the Mayo Clinic they knew exactly what was happening. In her case, it was misdiagnosed E Coli food poisoning from an undercooked hamberger at a family BBQ that started it all, but also a developed case of Fibromyalgia and chronic hives. It changed her life and made it possible to live with her condition.
ReplyDeleteHave you started on the antibiotics for Lyme?
Second this, Mayo is truly amazing. My ex BF sister works at one in FL and they are top notch
DeleteThe Mayo clinic has been brought up, along with seeing specialists out in Utah if we don't find an answer soon. I told my doctor I was only going if there was going to be a horse trail during the same time ;) And yes, did first round of antibiotics back in March. No fun, but necessary!
DeleteI have little faith in Doctors in either Utah or Idaho (grew up there and they were the ones that screwed up my mother's diagnosis.) Push for the Mayo clinic. The cool thing is they can do all of the testing all at the same time. There's no screwing around with making more appointments or seeing specialists, because at the Mayo clinic the specialists are all there. There is one in Arizona (where my mom went) and shouldn't be too far from you.
Delete:( I'm so sorry. I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and I really hope things improve <3
ReplyDeleteAre you taking anything to treat the Lyme? I know that's a horrible, horrible disease for people to have. A neighbor of ours in NY had it badly it and was really hard to watch him deal with it. I hope you get some answers soon. There's nothing worse than not knowing what you can do to fix the problem!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you aren't feeling well:( Hoping you find answers and good health very soon!
ReplyDeleteYikes! Hang in there. They are going to get it figured out!
ReplyDelete*bighugs*
ReplyDeleteI hope you get answers soon and can get the treatment and care needed to help you feel better asap.
Off topic, but i love your (scrub?) tops in the clinic photos. Especially the camo horse one.
my thoughts are with you! :/
ReplyDeleteWe love you and are always here! Even if you dont know it. <3
ReplyDeleteSending positive energy to you from me and B. So many people would've given up by now and seeing you push forward and get in those 5 minute rides is something to look up to. You're strong and you will get through this. :) And along with Aoife above... I love your scrubs. I'm a vet tech and I'm fed up with the "normal" uniform. The pets don't care that we match!
ReplyDeleteMayo clinic, let's go.
ReplyDeleteHow frustraing :( I hope you get some answers soon. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteWow that's very scary. I hope things get figured out soon.
ReplyDeleteSending big hugs your way x Hope you figure it out soon.
ReplyDeleteThat last photo had me tearing up thinking how exhausted and drained you must be both mentally and physically. Thinking of you, and hoping you figure everything out as soon as possible. Don't give up on your dreams!! but allow yourself time to take breaks and heal - and it sounds like you are doing just that!
ReplyDelete