Stuck.

We want to practice cantering jumps.

Ugh. I feel like my blog has become a place where I whiiiiine, But sometimes, I just need to. This disease or problem or whatever I have is very slowly tearing me apart. I made the choice to not ride alone earlier this summer after I almost passed out riding Bacon. It is now to the point where I don't ride because I just can't.

We want to do more cross country!!!

I had the tremors going on mostly in the left hand, but now I sometimes get the whole body shakes. I am incredibly weak, and get out of breath when I feed the ponies, let alone do anything else. I sometimes have difficulty writing and speaking to clients at the vet clinic. Every day is a hard and not so good day. I just stand and stare at my ponies, especially Bacon. She places her head on my chest and just breathes her warm sweet breath onto it.

We want to practice our dressage skillz.

I have plans, I have goals. I want to go to more derbies next year, at the Novice level. I want to do my first actual three day event. I want to do jumper shows and even dressage shows. And I will NOT let this crap bring me down all the way.

I want to ride with friends.

My other difficulties include my "arena" and not having a truck or trailer sized big enough for Bacon to fit into. My arena is about the size of a 50ft round pen, only square. I can only do so much with my horses when all I can do is jump, turn, jump, turn. I can't really work on lengthening or allow my horse to move freely forward, or put a course together. My other option would be to get a truck and trailer and be able to bring her places where we could do that. But, I have a boy who has picked his ideal truck, and it is quite the pretty penny. And he has his mind set on what kind of trailer he wants too. So hopefully we can purchase those things sometime next year after he graduates.

I just want to ride.

Until then, I am certainly stuck. I can't go anywhere, I can't even ride, I can't progress.

I don't know why I am in such a hurry. But I hope my doctor's appointment tomorrow brings me closer to identifying what I have. I have been bit by the eventing bug, and it has taken over.