Saggy Breech Syndrome

I've got a problem. A problem with my pants.

Something here isn't right.

You see, I have no ass. Well, you can't see, because if you tried, you probably wouldn't find it. If I was a super hero, I would be No Ass. I kind of had an ass and legs last year at the beginning of the year because after a losing battle with Prednisone, that's what happens. I weighed the most I had ever weighed in my life, and I hated it. But, my pants fit. My Aztec Diamonds fit perfectly and they were awesome.

If I stand wider, they kind of look ok.

And now, I have noticed due to this Lyme disease crap, I stop eating in the summer and usually that equals weight loss. Last year, I lost more than the 18lbs I gained and I ran into a problem. None of my breeches fit. And going into this year, I have lost 6 more pounds since last year, and now it is even worse. (Boo hoo, right?)

I could also be No Waist.

My beloved Aztec Diamonds are super baggy. I can belt them up as much as possible, but now it kind of looks ridiculous at the top. Like I have a peen in my pants. But my husband can assure you, there are no peens to be seen. My cheap Ovation breeches I bought last fall sag. The size 26 full seat Ariats I bought off of ETT look like I threw a hot dog in a grocery bag. Even my husband commented on how baggy everything is. And he tends to not share his observations like that because it may lead to me buying new breeches.

Yeah, that's attractive.

So is this.

Some people tell me I am lucky. I lose weight without even trying, that must be awesome, etc. And while that may sound nice, it doesn't feel too nice. It isn't just fat that is going away. I can stare into the mirror and see muscle wasting too. I have been eating well lately, but I have no desire to eat anything. I walk into a grocery store or go out to eat and do not want to eat any specific thing. I just know that I am probably hungry, and that I should eat. I can see my husband get frustrated because I will stand in an aisle at the grocery store and just stare at that food, hoping that somewhere I can find something I really want again.

Size 26 is a LIE

I am sorry for your eyes.

I am worried that I will buy more breeches, and they won't fit either. I can't really try any on here because we don't have any tack shops that carry a large variety of breeches. I would really like to own another pair of Aztec Diamonds, but I do not know which size to get. My current pair are size 10s. I don't know if going one size down will be enough (fingers crossed they are, because I don't want to be No Ass and No Legs). The good news is that I still have some meat and jiggle to work with, so that is good. The size 24 Tailored Sportsmens I have that were extra tight now fit pretty well, and I am glad I held onto them. The new Horze jean breeches I got (size 26) fit pretty darn well too.

Hey SmartPak, my crotch isn't down there.

Soooo, what do I do? Sell the breeches that are too big? What if I gain weight again (a problem with having Lyme, you are either gaining or losing weight all of the time)? What sizes do I buy? Where can I buy an ass? What breeches are good for this body type? So many questions. Who has the answers? I hope your super hero names are better than mine.