Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Saggy Breech Syndrome

I've got a problem. A problem with my pants.
Something here isn't right.
You see, I have no ass. Well, you can't see, because if you tried, you probably wouldn't find it. If I was a super hero, I would be No Ass. I kind of had an ass and legs last year at the beginning of the year because after a losing battle with Prednisone, that's what happens. I weighed the most I had ever weighed in my life, and I hated it. But, my pants fit. My Aztec Diamonds fit perfectly and they were awesome.
If I stand wider, they kind of look ok.
And now, I have noticed due to this Lyme disease crap, I stop eating in the summer and usually that equals weight loss. Last year, I lost more than the 18lbs I gained and I ran into a problem. None of my breeches fit. And going into this year, I have lost 6 more pounds since last year, and now it is even worse. (Boo hoo, right?)
I could also be No Waist.
My beloved Aztec Diamonds are super baggy. I can belt them up as much as possible, but now it kind of looks ridiculous at the top. Like I have a peen in my pants. But my husband can assure you, there are no peens to be seen. My cheap Ovation breeches I bought last fall sag. The size 26 full seat Ariats I bought off of ETT look like I threw a hot dog in a grocery bag. Even my husband commented on how baggy everything is. And he tends to not share his observations like that because it may lead to me buying new breeches.
Yeah, that's attractive.
So is this.
Some people tell me I am lucky. I lose weight without even trying, that must be awesome, etc. And while that may sound nice, it doesn't feel too nice. It isn't just fat that is going away. I can stare into the mirror and see muscle wasting too. I have been eating well lately, but I have no desire to eat anything. I walk into a grocery store or go out to eat and do not want to eat any specific thing. I just know that I am probably hungry, and that I should eat. I can see my husband get frustrated because I will stand in an aisle at the grocery store and just stare at that food, hoping that somewhere I can find something I really want again.
Size 26 is a LIE
I am sorry for your eyes.
I am worried that I will buy more breeches, and they won't fit either. I can't really try any on here because we don't have any tack shops that carry a large variety of breeches. I would really like to own another pair of Aztec Diamonds, but I do not know which size to get. My current pair are size 10s. I don't know if going one size down will be enough (fingers crossed they are, because I don't want to be No Ass and No Legs). The good news is that I still have some meat and jiggle to work with, so that is good. The size 24 Tailored Sportsmens I have that were extra tight now fit pretty well, and I am glad I held onto them. The new Horze jean breeches I got (size 26) fit pretty darn well too.
Hey SmartPak, my crotch isn't down there.
Soooo, what do I do? Sell the breeches that are too big? What if I gain weight again (a problem with having Lyme, you are either gaining or losing weight all of the time)? What sizes do I buy? Where can I buy an ass? What breeches are good for this body type? So many questions. Who has the answers? I hope your super hero names are better than mine.

30 comments:

  1. I know the feeling though different machine for getting there. Was a 26 now I'm a 16 children's? I dunno. I held onto my 28s, and 26s and just keep trucking along. Tried to sell my 28s but only sold about half. Not enough to buy a ton of new breeches :( breeches are expensive.

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    1. Breeches are way to expensive! But less expensive if you are child size? Maybe?

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    2. By like $20... and I'll take it

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  2. You might want to consider getting your current baggy pants tailored. It'd probably only cost like $20 each, which is cheaper than buying new ones. If you have a sewing machine you could do it yourself. The plus side to tailoring is that they'll actually fit your body as opposed to a fit model's body.

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    1. Hmm, that is a good thought. I do like this idea!

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  3. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled around here for you. Often when the tack shops have crazy sales it's on surpluses of tiny sizes!

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  4. You can have some of my ass if you want. I have plenty to go around. Like L said, you may be able to fit into childrens' sizes now, which means that they are CHEAPER! I would keep a pair or two of breeches that are baggy on you now in case you gain weight again. I'll keep an eye out for sale stuff for you, too :)

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    1. I will gladly take some of your ass. Thank you very much.

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  5. I keep trying to share my ass fat with you...but you won't take it! The tailoring is a really good idea!

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    1. I don't think your husband wants to share your ass.

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  6. Your sad face cracked me up in the photos. Sorry to hear the baggy butt woes!

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    1. Maybe I could stuff some pillows in there and make for a more comfortable ride!

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  7. No peens to be seen, I am dead!!!

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  8. lolz i also appreciate the humorous expressions in the pics!! seriously tho, unfortunately i have nothing really to add (other than echoing others who offered their own surplus ass!). tailoring might be your friend here! good luck!

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    1. I think I could have enough ass if I actually got to take all of the donations offered!

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  9. You should send that last pic and caption to smartpak. That's not just a no-ass problem. ;-) Tailoring is a great idea as is Niamh going shopping. And children's sizes.

    And yeah. We all have different problems. That doesn't make them better or worse, though sometimes I'd really like to try having the not enough ass/too much $ combo of problems. ;-)

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    1. I need that too much $ problem to balance out the no ass.

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  10. Ugh. I had fairly severe GERD when I was 16 and I feel you. "You hungry?" "No but I guess I should eat..." I would literally pass out from low blood sugar without ever getting hungry.
    I think having them tailored is an excellent idea.

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    1. Yeesh. It really isn't fun. Especially when your favorite foods don't even appeal to you anymore!

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  11. The pics are hilarious. I lol'd. Definitely tailor them.

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  12. This was hilarious. But sad too :( I can't imagine not wanting food, like it sounds like it would be cool but I know that it wouldn't because yum

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    1. It stinks. I like food too! Just sometimes, I don't want anything to do with it.

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  13. Hey there! It's Sara from Aimee's barn. I like to look at other inspirational blogs and happened across this post. It spoke to me because I just had a long- term battle with Predy as well and unless you've been on it, you don't understand how destructive that drug can be. I'm still dealing with really shitty effects! (Including the fact that I gained 10 pounds in 2 weeks) So take my fat and cellulite! And if you ever wanna shoot the breeze about terrible meds, I definitely will understand.
    :)

    P.s. thanks for the super cute pics you snapped of Honey and me the other week!

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    1. Ooo it's Sara! Yay! Stupid prednisone. I hate it and love it at the same time. I didn't feel anymore pain, but I was so hungry and thirsty and gross feeling. And you are welcome for the pictures, I will have to come take more!

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    2. Ooo it's Sara! Yay! Stupid prednisone. I hate it and love it at the same time. I didn't feel anymore pain, but I was so hungry and thirsty and gross feeling. And you are welcome for the pictures, I will have to come take more!

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  14. I have a love relationship with it the first few days, then the bad effects kick in and it changes to hate! I think it is a great drug if you are the right candidate.
    And you totally should!!

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