The Crushing Man

What am I talking about?

This guy.

NOOOOO!

He equals life. You are just getting all settled and comfortable and then BAM. Big round life hits ya, with its sweaty pits and too revealing shorts.

I shouldn't complain too much. I've got it pretty good despite my illness. I am fortunate enough to have a hard working husband that can provide enough financial support to keep me at home. I win all kinds of crap, like a sweet Success Equestrian half pad (from Halloween costume contest) or all the raffles from the IDEA awards banquet last year. All of my critters are doing alright (knock on wood) and I have awesome friends. I have people that are trying to support my art when I can get it done.

But then there is my mom.

Behold, the creator of this weirdo.

My mom is a strong, small and feisty woman. She doesn't make the best choices. Despite these many bad choices, I love her very much so. I feel like a lot of my childhood was robbed because we were apart. When my dad packed my brother and myself up and moved us from Tucson to Boise, it was painful to look out the back window of our van as we drove away from my grandparent's house and my mom. I can still picture it and immediately feel the pain.

We need more fun times tubing on the lake.

I have been lucky to see my mom a week or two out of the year since then. Sometimes she made some really bad choices that ended with her being locked up for some periods of time. I clambered for every phone call I got from her at that point. Five minutes on the phone was so nice. And then I wouldn't know when I would get another one. Letters were written, but it kind of felt like writing to a ghost. I always got letters back, of course, but I wanted more. When she got out of there, she was healthy and strong and looked great. And now we are here.

More hilarious rides on Pandora.

My mom has been in and out of the hospital several times now, more so in these last few months than anything. She has been battling pneumonia and it gets a little terrifying. My family knows I dwell and worry and have a hard time coping with anything bad that might happen to anyone. So they don't share a lot of details with me, which is unfortunate. I don't know if I am okay with that or not. I should probably know what is going on. But will that affect me in such a way to cause more harm? The last time my mom was in the hospital, she was awfully close to leaving us. I was told after the fact.

More family pictures where Blake gets to pretend he is a giant.

We also come from a line of liver disease and autoimmune diseases and alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency (damnit grandpa Bob!) so there are those things too. She is sick again. And I would really like healing thoughts sent to her. Maybe some sent for my sanity. Or prayers or whatever you have got. We've got whatever you have. Turn that fat man into some awesome medical help or even chocolate. I would really love it if I could have the longest possible time with my mom. I would love for her to recover and not be sick again. At least not for a long time. I don't want to be robbed of anything else. We need to make it to the Kentucky Derby, like we always planned.

More hugs with mom.